I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
