Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
