Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
