And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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