So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
