I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
