Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My feet surprised me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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