Well apparently he's into motor boating.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
