I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
