We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
