Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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