On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
