Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
