ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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