it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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