are you still at the devil's house?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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