We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Drunk is not a location!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
