You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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