D3 body, D1 cock
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think i peed on brittanys purse
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
