Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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