Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize