6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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