Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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