She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
