She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
