Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
