You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
