I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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