I forgot how hot balto sounded
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Let's paint friendship bongs
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
