had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
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It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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