You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
