That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
