how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize