i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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