where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
