Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
