I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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