She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize