well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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