he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
