My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
