Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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