After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
