So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm too high and old for this...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
