Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize