would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
