he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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