Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.