I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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