You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
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