my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
