we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
