3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
