I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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