I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
