Non-Jews are for practice
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
