Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
