I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
