you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
