I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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