You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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