you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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